Unwritten rules of trucking #'s 1 & 2

     Rule # 1:  No matter how much you try, if your schedule is meant to be tight, it will wind up tight, regardless of how early you leave point A.

     Rule # 2: No matter how much you pay for it, your GPS will give you grief if you disobey it.

     This past week was not the most lucrative, for me.  In fact, it has to be the least lucrative week since I first got into the transporter business, back in January.  Thurday and Friday were the days where it all came to a head.  I set up a boomerang trip between Springfield, OH and East Liverpool, OH to run two trucks for Thursday.  The plan was to pick up the first truck Thursday morning and deliver in East Liverpool late Thursday afternoon and then run back to Springfield, pick up the second truck and deliver it Friday morning.  I had been told by a vet of the area that the best way to get to East Liverpool from Springfield was to run out I-70 E to OH Rt 7 N to US 30 W.  When I hit Columbus, my GPS decided that going up I-71 N to I-76 E was quicker. Wow was it wrong.  I wound up in East Liverpool four hours later than planned.

     For the return trip I decided to reverse the vet's directions and go that way.  My GPS, on the other hand didn't like that and had me hop off 7 at Stubenville, OH and run me through the woods for the next two hours, keeping me perpetually 200 miles from Springfield.  By the time I got out of that mess and back on track it was midnight.  At 2:30 I stopped at the TA in London, OH for a nap.  I got back to Springfield at 11:00 am.  I was rolling by noon and I was going to stick with the vet's route, which I did, sort of. Rule number two had gotten the best of me the first time, it wasn't going to get me a second.

     Ignoring my GPS, I Ran straight when my GPS told me to turn.  after the third and final chance at I-71, My GPS decided it was going to try and punish me by sending me up I-77 to Cleveland and then send me fifty miles south east to East Liverpool.  I planned to ignore that, too. Then about fifteen miles east of Columbus, traffic ground to a halt.  I-70 was flooded.  The next four hours were spent moving at about five mph to a detour to US 40 for 20 miles.  By the time I got on I-70, again, it was 18:00.  Meanwhile my GPS was insisting I was still 210 miles away.  In reality, I was about 165.  My GPS was acting like this narcissist that I had for a co-driver for about four weeks in 2013.  When I finally passed I-77, it kept trying to run me through the same woods it hung me up in the night before.  I ignored it until it had no choice but to route me up OH Rt 7, when it gave me an accurate reading. I arrived in East Liverpool around the same time I arrived the night before.  Thankfully, someone was there to sign my paperwork so I could head home and not wait until Monday to get paid.  This is rule number one in action.

     Most weeks aren't usually this bad and these trips did have a few neat (to me) things to keep me from completely blowing my stack.  First trip ran me through Massilon, OH (Go Tigers), The birth place of professional football. Second trip ran me through Stubenville, OH, The hometown of the legendary Traci Lords.  Also, just south of East Liverpool, OH Rt 7 runs under an electrical power plant.  It's odd, to me to see buildings over highways in rural America. I usually see that in places like New York or Pittsburgh. Lastly, good pizza in East Liverpool at JP's Pizzaria and Grill.

     The nature of this business has its plus' and minus' .  Every once in a while one greatly outweighs the other and when it's negative, it can be hard to find the good in it.  For my therapy, I find it good to get the aggression out by listening to something angry, first, then something soothing, second. You'd be amazed at how powerful a combination of Massacre and Esquivel can be.

Good night, and may your god go with you.

Corey Feldman is the embodiment of Generation X

     Today, I sat down  and watched the video of Corey Feldman's performance of his new single "Go 4 It." I had been hearing about it since Friday, however, my driving schedule (and bad data streaming on my phone) prevented me from beholding this spectacle that was supposedly so strange, even NPR mentioned it. 

     To say I was left speechless would be an overstatement. My tastes lean towards what some would call bizarre.  My wife told me before I saw it that it might be some kind of outsider music thing and I might enjoy it.  Instead what I saw reminded me of many acquaintences between the ages of 42 and 52. 

     Generation X was the generation that peaked in high school.  We were the first to not do better than our parents and we were the first generation raised on MTV and pop culture.  A good chunk of the entertainment we consume has been about how great high school in the 1980's were.  Films like Romey and Michelle's High School Reunion, Grosse Point Blank, and Hot Tub Time Machine and televison programs like My Coolest Years exemplify Generation X's obsession with high school.

     Corey Feldman peaked when he and the rest of Generation X was in high school, and, like Generation X, he never got over it.  His performance was painful to watch in a mid-life crisis kind of way.  Like watching 42 year old Grace Slick singing "We Built This City." Musically, it could be a hit for a younger performer.  Visually, it's Miss Edie's Flag Dance from Grey Gardens.  Painful to watch because you want to simultaneously laugh at it while you feel embarassment for him.  It's the train wreck of the Generation.  To be fair, in the tradition of classic outsiders like Syd Barrett, Florence Foster Jenkins, Mrs. Miller, and Hasil Adkins, he believes strongly enough in his material to be willing to put it on the world stage for everyone to see, and that takes guts.

Saturday Afternoon at a McDonald's in Warren, OH

     I’m currently sitting in a McDonald’s near Warren, OH waiting for a load assignment and I’m missing the days when one could sit in a restaurant, smoke, and drink coffee while contemplating the state of the human condition and taking notes. Just thinking about it reminds me of smells you can’t experience outside of Kansas, anymore. I say this because smoking is still allowed in restaurants in Kansas.

     For those under the age of thirty, this is a journey back to the mid/late 1970’s to the mid/late 1980’s.  Trust me when I tell you, the only things that made it at all like The Fucking Breakfast Club, were the fashions and women with hairy crotches (the good old days, when you had no doubt the girl you were with was over the age of 13).

     When I was in elementary school, a Pizza Hut opened in my hometown of Oil City, PA.  It was the latest novelty in fast food coming into the area, McDonald’s had opened a couple years earlier (it’s still the same, the only difference between then and now is the absence of that walnut brown Formica with the fake wood grain) and the Kentucky Fried Chicken on Center St. had closed amidst rumours that someone wound up with a Kentucky Fried rat in their bucket of chicken.  Pizza Hut has turned out to be one of my most vivid memories of dining in restaurants from my childhood. 

     Pizza Hut in the 1970’s embodies everything I miss about that era.  As soon as you walked in several things happened at once, all the light from outside disappeared, the room was filled with dim light emitted from about fifteen Tiffany-esque lights hanging over around the room, a jukebox glowed in the corner and a couple years later, a table top Pac Man game added to the whole affair.  Along with this was a soft, deep red carpet which seemed to absorb any excess light and sound giving the whole dining area the same kind of glow you now only see in big budget porno films from that era.  Your olfactory nerves were then assaulted by a scent that is now as lost as the sound of a rotary telephone, the scent of pizza mixed with cigarette smoke which hung like a haze across the entire dining area.  It permeated everything, you got home that night and it clung to your clothes until you washed them. 

     Later when I went to college at Clarion, I found a good place to study and do homework, was the local Perkins.  You could sit in there for a couple hours, eat breakfast, drink coffee, and catch up on your reading assignments while sitting in the smoking section and burning up the better half of a pack of cigarettes.  I still find that having a good cigar or pipe full of tobacco, a cup of coffee or scotch on the rocks, and a Dave Brubeck record are helpful in organizing my thoughts and loosening my inhibitions when writing.  Since I don’t drink when I’m at work (and yes I am doing my day job) and I can’t smoke in McDonald’s in Ohio, I’m relegated to some Brubeck on YouTube and a big enough fit of boredom to write descriptively about something seemingly mundane that has pretty much vanished without a trace and no one noticed.

      It makes me wonder, though, if a smoker friendly restaurant could survive in today’s climate.  Even better, combine a couple of pet peeves into one.  Welcome to The Smoker’s Lounge, no children under eighteen allowed.  Along with the menu, the waitress brings a list of cigars and cigarettes available to accompany your meal.  A place where adults could enjoy each other’s company without all the noise and drama that comes with kids. 

      It’s at this point that I realize I should stop.  This is about to get even more disjointed and less cohesive than it already is. 

     Good night and may your god go with you.

Living Large in Laredo (not really,but, it is fun to say)

     The sun beats down on Laredo, TX.  It's 82 degrees Fahrenheit, here.  the Mexican border is within walking distance, not that anyone in their right mind would want to walk there.  Laredo is an interesting place to be.  During the day, freight moves back and forth, people come and go.  Lots of regulars pass through the truck stops that line I -35. The implications of lawlessness implied in the movies is virtually non-existent.  I'm sure it's here, but, like anything else, you have to go look for it.  I'm not looking.

     My truck becomes a sweat lodge on wheels in weather like this.  Even with all the windows and vents open, there's not much else to do during the day other than lay in bed, naked, and sweat.  As nice a purge as that is, it can be uncomfortable and makes one feel gross that much sooner.  One of the ironies of the place where I'm parked is the presence of a Taco Bell franchise.

     It's 18:00 hrs, here.  The sun will start setting in another hour or so.  That's when this busy, yet quiet exit comes alive. Trucks will line the street out front selling anything and everything you can imagine and a few things you can't. I'm sure the strip club on the other side of the highway will have its share of mayhem, it is Thursday night.  I'm saving my money. Some things are more important than ogling tits that aren't my wife's.  Besides, I've been told not to trust the coffee, there.

     One of those things would be food.  My personal highlight is the taco trucks with their fresh, made from scratch tortillas wrapped around an assortment of meats seasoned according to family recipes going back generations, topped with cilantro, lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, sour cream, and salsas that people who live in places like New England can only dream of replicating on Taco Tuesday.  The choice of meat, alone will make a less traveled person's head spin. Along with ground beef, steak, and chicken, there's pork, goat, barbacoa (face), and my old co-driver's personal favourite, tacos del lingua (tongue).  With competition like that, it makes me wonder why the Taco Bell franchise owner even bothers.

     It's coming to places like this that keep my job interesting. I feel lucky to live in such an amazingly scenic and diverse country and to be paid to travel and see it all. There are plenty of places around Texas that I hope to write about and I'll eventually get to them.  Meanwhile, there's a sunset that I hope to capture and tacos to be consumed.

     Good night and may your god go with you.
     

   

Social Media and the Delusion of Privacy

     "Don't tell them your story unless you want them being a part of it"

- meme from the internet

     Ten years ago, Clarion University held a discussion about privacy and the internet.  The discussion was sponsored by the CUP Athletic Department and the panel included several members of the NCAA.  The discussion came in the wake of reports of several students across the country being kicked out  or arrested for posting pictures of themselves committing illegal activities (mostly drug use and underage drinking) on social media sites such as MySpace, Friendster, ConnectU, Live Journal, and a relatively new site called Facebook.  

     Not only had schools taken to looking on social media, employers started looking, too.  Many people have and still do lose their jobs over the things they post on these sites.  Of course, there was the cry of unfair play from those who were directly affected as well as accusations of invasion of privacy by the more socially naive that didn't seem to understand that even though the interface through which they posted to these sites was in their bedroom, they were actually standing in the middle of the town square and announcing themselves to the world.

     As far back as 2006, the NCAA has had a social media provision in their policy of conduct for their student athletes.  They could have social media accounts, however if they chose to post ANYTHING that could potentially reflect badly on the NCAA, the participating school is expected to remove said athlete from the team and all scholarships, revoked. The specifics change as new platforms appear, but, the outcome remains the same.

     I should note that this was before many of these platforms had introduced "privacy" settings for individual users. Still, it's safe to say that the halcyon days  of anonymity on the internet are pretty much gone unless you code for a living.  Another thing to remember is that now our nebby neighbors can spy on us more easily without getting caught.  If you're worried about privacy on Facebook, just remember what my wife says: "you have plenty of privacy on Facebook. As long as you don't post anything."

     Recently, it occurred to me that this issue is still relevant.  Not only is it relevant but it has created a new creature.  A kind of attention whore who desires attention, but, once attention is received, tells people to mind their own business.  I'm sure psychologists have a name for this, I just don't know what it is. Maybe it's a form of narcissism.

     The problem then lies with the nature of just being on Facebook.  If you choose to post something for the world to see, you are posting with the understanding that you are inviting comments. I write this blog with the understanding that someone may have something to say about it, and I encourage it.   Like it or not, if you choose to go on the internet, you are agreeing to giving up your privacy.  Everyone's a public figure here. Just like in the real world, it's what you choose to share and how you choose to conduct yourself as to whether or not your experience is going to be pleasurable.

     Good night and may your god go with you.

Meaningful dialogue in middle America

     "The radio came alive with a vengeance; at the Texan station news of a flood was being delivered with such rapidity one gained the impression the commentator himself was in danger of drowning.  Another narrator in a higher voice gobbled bankruptcy, disaster, while yet another told of misery blanketing a threatened capital, people stumbling through debris littering dark streets, hurrying thousands seeking shelter in bomb-torn darkness.  How well he knew the jargon.  Darkness, disaster!  How the world fed on it.  In the war to come correspondents would assume unheard of importance, plunging through flame to feed the public its little gobbets of dehydrated excrement.  A bawling scream abruptly warned of stocks lower, or irregularly higher, the prices of grain, cotton, metal, munitions.  While static rattled on eternally below-poltergeists of the ether, claqueurs of the idiotic!"
                  - Malcolm Lowry Under the Volcano, 1947

     The last eleven days since my last post have been spent between Hebron, OH and Chattanooga, TN. Mostly sitting and getting paperwork together and of course talking current events, which in the U.S. means discussing politics.  There's an old saying that says the two things you should never discuss in polite company are religion and politics.  Which is true.  Folks hold on to their beliefs in both areas with a deep conviction.  This, however, becomes problematic in election years.  This year, the issues are big and complicated and can't be solved with buzzwords and catchphrases.  It is the stuff that causes fistfights and riots if one doesn't couch their ideas correctly.  As tense as it has been, the last couple weeks have taught me a lot about my fellow Americans, and myself as well.

     A couple days ago, in Chattanooga, TN a fellow driver asked me if I was voting for Hillary Clinton.  I took umbrage at this and sternly told him "who I vote for is none of your business." He responded by apologizing profusely and I realized, I must have intimidated him and then explained that, I'm trying to remain centered when discussing politics.  I also explained that since we use a secret ballot, we are not obligated to disclose to anyone who gets our vote.

    Last week in Hebron, OH, a driver decided to fling accusations at me because: a) I disagreed with him about a point in the Constitution and b) I was able to pull up a copy of the Constitution and back my point up. All he could say after we were done was "you mean you actually read that shit?" I should note this guy also proudly said he was voting for Trump because "he'd make sure the Constitution was upheld."  While there, folks like that were in the majority.

     I found staying generally neutral was enough to actually find where the consensus lies.  I was surprised at the number of conservatives out here that hate Trump.  I was also surprised at the number of liberals who like him.  One thing that we all agreed upon was this: like him or hate him, Trump has increased the number of voters.

     The thing that drove all these discussions was the news.  The TA in Hebron had Fox News, my company's terminal in Chatt. had a tv dedicated to CNN.  This background noise seemed to influence the mood of the discussion.  The discussions around Fox News bordered on hostile, the discussions around CNN tended to be more civil.  Although, I heard rumours about a fist fight breaking out in the CNN room but since I wasn't there, it's just hearsay to me.

     I realize the political discussion isn't over, technically, it never will be.  But, the one we need to have across the U.S. is just starting to ramp up and may get crazier.  I figure as long as a few of us can keep our cool, we'll be fine once the smoke clears.

     Good night and may your god go with you.  

Mix Tape #1

This week has been hectic to say the least.  I've been running every day since Friday, which is why I haven't posted until now. Today seems like a day for a quick run down of tunes from the truck.  The accompanying mix tape is just a sampling of stuff that is currently in rotation.  The link will be posted at the bottom. Here's the current rundown.  For those wishing to track any of this down, I'll share album info as well.

1. "Drums" - Laurie Anderson from You're the Guy I Want to Share My Money With  Most folks seem to know Laurie Anderson for a few things she did in the early eighties and this is from that period. I will, however, recommend checking out her latest project, the film Heart of a Dog. Like her other work, it gives you another way of looking at things.
2. "Bognor Regis" - Frank Zappa unreleased.  I don't think this needs much explaining.
3. "Swan's Splashdown" - Perry & Kingsley from Incredibly Strange Music vol. 1  I'm a big fan of exotica.  Considering how square it's portrayed, it's actually some of the most adventurous pop music of the fifties and sixties.  This may sound familiar to fans of the band Smashmouth, especially since they pilfered this piece, heavily, for their song "Walking on the Sun."
4. "Boredom vs. SDI - Boredoms from Onanie Bomb Meets The Sex Pistols  I am also a fan of free jazz. Members of this group have worked extensively with John Zorn. Although it's clear they are cut from the same cloth as classic noise core bands like Sore Throat and Anal Cunt, the Boredoms are clearly less random and more deliberate, like Captain Beefheart.  In the realm of controlled chaos, these guys have few equals.
5. "Unjust Deserts" - Zoogz Rift from Villagers  People that really know me have heard me speak volumes about The Liquid Moamo.  To me, he's one of the most under appreciated artists of all time.  This little number is probably one of his most accessible tunes that clearly captures what he is about.  Musically, he was a dadaist and it shows in these lyrics with their oxymoronic wordplay and the omnipresent marimba clunking away. 
6. "Flesh" - Ken Nordine from  Incredibly Strange Music vol. 2 If Ken Nordine's voice sounds familiar, it's because he was a voice over artist for television and did a lot of commercials over the years.  He is also considered by some to be the inventor of "word jazz." this is one of his more far out pieces.
7. "The Spider and the Fly" - The Monocles from Pebbles vol. 3: The Acid Gallery  I love garage rock, I also like unbridled weirdness.  This fits both, well.  It builds and swells like great drama and leaves most confused.
8. "Woman" - The Cambodian Space Project and Kong Nay from The Rough Guide to Psychedelic Cambodia  Long before the Beatles started incorporating Eastern music into rock music, these Cambodian musicians were incorporating rock music into Eastern music.
9. "So What" - Lyrics from Pebbles vol. 2  I honestly don't know much about this band, but I love the sneer in this.
10. "Emily" - Girlpool from Before the World was Big One of my favourite albums of 2015 and one of my favourite new bands.  Girlpool is one of the most interesting female groups since The Slits or The Roches (depending on which calender you use).
11. "The War" - Bob Mould from Beauty & Ruin   Been a fan of Bob Mould since 1989.  His new album is due out, soon and I am looking forward to it.  This one is one of my faves from the last one and seemed like a fitting closer for this mix tape.

For those that choose to give this stuff a listen, I hope you enjoy it and I look forward to hearing your thoughts.

Good night and may your god go with you.